Sno-Caps are the worst candy in cinema

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I’ll eat pretty much whatever they serve in the movies. I love an Icee – cherry Where Coca flavor. I’ll devour a whole bag of popcorn before the previews start rolling. Giant pretzel? Twizzlers? Nachos with supernatural artificial cheese? Yes, yes and yes. Once, when I was really hungry, I even ate a hot dog at the movies. But I never eat Sno-Caps. Already. These are the worst of the worst movie franchises.

Sno-Caps, if you’ve been lucky enough to avoid them in your life, are described on their box as “semi-sweet chocolate nonpareilles”. The nonpareil are the little balls of white sugar on top. Especially in the dark of a movie theater, they make these little chocolate mounds look like a small snow-capped mountain – hence Sno-Cap. I concede the name is slightly clever.

All the affection I have for this candy ends there. Right off the bat, there’s a problem: By their own admission, Sno-Caps are made with “semi-sweet” chocolate. They are as advertised. Chocolate is neither sweet, nor rich, nor creamy. The unparalleled add nothing to the flavor and give the whole experience a grainy, off-putting texture. Put a bunch of it in your mouth at a time and you’ll feel like you’re chewing on a handful of sand-covered mud.

Sno-Caps is one of the oldest candy brands in America. According to Wikipedia (which is never wrong), they were developed in the 1920s by the Blumenthal Chocolate Company. Blumenthal, with its various sweets, moved from entity to entity throughout the 20th century, until it finally landed at Nestlé in the mid-1980s. They continue to make the product to this day. .

I’m sure Sno-Caps were a revolutionary food for the 1920s. 100 years later, we can do better. (A few of the other “hot” candies that people thought were good in the 1920s: Mary Jane, Bit-O-Honey, and Abba-Zaba. Please note that none of these are stocked in the stores yet. multiplex concession stands.) I guess Nestle could theoretically update the quality of the Sno-Caps to bring them more in line with modern standards, but so far they haven’t. Pretty much every other candy sold in the cinema offers better tasting chocolate without the “bonus” of those edible little peanuts on top.

Some boxes of Sno-Caps advertise that they are “still 25% less fat” than “major brands of chocolate”. (Note the implication – on the candy’s own wrapper! – that the Sno-Caps themselves are not one of the leading brands of chocolate.) Even if this is true, it still makes Sno-Caps a bad deal. You get 25% less fat and at least 80% less taste. Would you rather eat 75 calories you won’t enjoy or 100 calories you will like? It’s an easy choice.

Clearly Someone must be eating Sno-Caps; no theater would continue to stock them for decades if the boxes didn’t sell. I’m sure after posting this post, I will hear from furious Sno-Caps followers that I dare remind them that they are fans of coarse food. So I want to conclude by stating for the record that I am not writing this to shame anyone who loves Sno-Caps. If you like them, that’s wonderful. Having said that: are you aware that they sell other candy? There are some good ones, and not all of them have the texture of lumpy sandpaper. You should try them someday.

Gallery – Every candy in the cinema ranked from worst to best:

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